Kenneth Kumle
ANTH 204
20-Sep-08
Koobecaf Ethnography
TA- Kelly Marshall, F- 1030

The Social Practices of the Koobecafe Cult

There exists today, within the religious structures of the world, an extremist cult know as Koobecafe. This cult is prone to blackmailing community members who do not follow their ways and flinging ekops at those who do. The Koobecaf cult seems to have been born out of the Retupmoc Resu religion. With other cults, such as the Retupmoc Remags and the Liame Eiknujs, Koobecafe is hardly the only cult to be born from the Retupmoc Resu religion. Koobecafe is, however, one of the more pervasive cults in existence today.

Before we focus on the Koobecaf as they are today let us first look at their origins in the Retupmoc Resu religion. The religion was born as a movement in the 1970’s when Retupmoc shrines were made available to the peoples of the world, after being deemed safe by the arcane seers of the day of course (Bellis). These shrines tend to consist of some sort of glowing box, a rodent, and a pad covered in arcane characters. The glowing box seems to be some type of portal through which the devout receive messages from their god. While the followers cannot communicate their requests and prayers directly back to their god, it does seem that, through the random tapping of fingers over the arcane characters on the pad before them, they can get a message through. I am still unsure of the exact purpose of the rodent, though it seems to be there for the worshipers’ comfort as they can often be seen stroking it while receiving a message from their god.

The movement of the Retupmoc Resu finally entered the realm of global religions when the seers discovered that all of their peoples could be connected in worship through the ether of space. This discovery led the seers to promoted what they called the Tenretni. After the advent of the Tenretni, or Ecapsrebyc as Retupmoc Resu worshippers like to call it, the followers began to spend more and more time indoors before their Retupmoc shrines; leaving only when the necessities of life demand it. It is from this atmosphere of worship that the Koobecaf Cult grew.

Founded by the prophet Zuckerberg, in 2004, the Koobecaf cult has rapidly grown to over 8 million members (Yadav). The cultists claim that their devotion is spurned on by their desire to socialize with their friends and relations. All observations point to the cultist spending even more time worshiping their shrines than the average follower of the Retupmoc Resu faith, rather than seeking out human contact with these friends and relations, however. Despite the social claim of the Koobecaf cultists, they can often be found flinging ekops at each other, much as the Ninevites were reputed to slap people with fish (Big Idea).

Most insidious of all are the methods cultists utilize to recruit new members into their cult. Members of the Koobecaf cult can be overhead promising greater social standing within the community at large to those who will join them. They promise access to sects of like minded people, collections of personal images, and the ability to write on other cultists’ walls unmolested. Members of the cult have even established themselves so deeply into the various institutions of higher learning that they have been know to promise better grades in a class to students who will join the Koobecaf.




Work Sited:

Bellis, Mary. “The History of Computers”
About.Com: Inventors. Copyright 2008 About.com. 20Sep2008
<http://inventors.about.com/library/blcoindex.htm>

Yadav, Sid. “Facebook – The Complete Biography”
Mashable. 25Aug2006. 20Sep2008
<http://mashable.com/2006/08/25/facebook-profile>

Big Idea. “Big Idea’s Jonah a VeggieTales Movie”
Copyright 2002 Big Idea Productions. 20Sep2008
<http://www.jonahmovie.com/html/movie/story.html>