This essay is about the video that the UCLA film festival simulcasted to seven locations worldwide. There were some clips that I liked, and others that I did not. There were some more that I looked forward to seeing, but ultimately did not show up on this 52-minute video. What I loved the most was the auto-tuning of the news and other videos. There were several groups of auto-tuners, but the one I’m most fond of is “The Gregory Brothers,” whose YouTube channel is “Schmoyoho.” Any news broadcast that would have gone in one ear and out the other suddenly became quite gripping because the auto-tuning of the anchors and anyone they interview makes them sound hilarious.

That made me wonder: If there’s software that can automatically make voices sing, why hasn’t anyone invented headsets that auto-tunes instructors and professors to our ears, in order for them to auto-sing to us and not give us the tendency to doze off or check our Facebooks any longer? If no one will invent such a thing, maybe I should myself. I could become independently wealthy this way. Should this happen, I think I will donate as many of these headsets to K-State as there are students below a 2.25 average GPA, and the rest of the student body can buy them at Varney’s, the Union, or any store that will stock the product.

Now there was a clip that I hated: I don’t remember the title or group anymore (and I don’t think I should either) but they sang a vitriolic song in an upbeat, bouncy tune. It was “F-you this, F-you that,” while in the beat of a song a tween might enjoy. I wondered what the point of that song was, then realized that it’s a type of coarse humor catered to certain personalities, like those who don’t mind getting entertained by less tasteful things. I would hope that YouTube video is set to only allow accounts whose ages are set to 18 or over to view it.

There were plenty of popular videos that I wish I would have seen on this 52-minute presentation. One was the Star Wars Kid. Even though I kind of wished to have seen it, I realized that maybe the editors of the presentation thought it would be cruel to post him again. However, he became a popular meme that originated before YouTube: He was uploaded onto Kazaa first, and later, other video editors decided to remix him with techno music, lighting effects (to include turning the golf driver into a glowing lightsaber.) Of course, this humiliation against Ghyslain Raza caused him to finish his high school at a psychiatric facility, so I ultimately commend the editors for not including him after all.

One that I wouldn’t have minded seeing was the Large Hadron Rap. An ordinary lecture about the Large Hadron Collider in a Swiss & French CERN facility would’ve bored us to tears, but AlpineKat (her YouTube screenname) summarized the curation of the facility into a 4-minute, 49-second rap. I got to learn a lot more about the LHC from this than from other sources. This is the type of video that would raise our IQs.

One video that an Anthropology tutor pointed out is Charlie and the Unicorn. The colored unicorns sounded unintelligent, and their dialog was so. This was a video that would lower our IQs, and that I was glad not to remember seeing in the presentation.